"I'm selfish, impatient, and insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best." ---Marilyn Monroe I love, love, love this woman. The most beautiful woman there has ever been. Inside and out.

"Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life." --- Jack Kerouac

Perhentian Islands, Malaysia. Summer 2009.

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page" --- Saint Augustine

These words of St. Augustine's stuck with me as I walked uncomfortably back to my hut and covered myself in after sun. I was annoyed with myself that yet again I was burnt from the scorching sun. I lay on my bed in anticipation of the electricity and subsequently the fan that felt almost too good to be true. I must admit, not everything is how the guide books tell it.

The Perentian Islands are undiscovered for many who travel through South East Asia, it would be a huge mistake to miss this relatively unknown place. Having heard that accomodation was hard to come by I took the risk and if worse came to worse I would have to sleep on the beach. Luckily I found a quaint little hut that would do that job, as waking up on the scorching hot sand at a ridiculous hour of the morning was far from ideal. I booked the next speedboat from Kuala Besut, on the North East coast of Malaysia, and coming into shore I am greeted by tropical views; every first impression that hits you is literally breath-taking and beautiful.

"Unspoiled and relaxed" is an injustice; the island is so much more than that. Crystal clear waters lapping up the white sand with waves that shimmer under the sun dominated sky. Seen through the eyes of the local Thai man sleeping under his hat on the hammock or by the French couple kayaking beyond the pier. Or simply by the young English girl sat sieving the sand through her fingers, taking in every detail possible.

[Unfortunately the photo doesn't do it justice]

A week prior my mind had been caught up on the streets of Bangkok eating cockroaches, in a whirlwind of danger and adrenaline in tuks-tuks and transfixed by the sordid details of a 'ping pong show'. Every sense was being electrified, beyond what I expected yet somehow now they were serene, content to the point of ectasy. Impossible to believe this is reality; I suppose it wasn't reality. In reality you don't meet Domino, the ukulele player on a candle lit beach whilst singing along to Oasis and you don't go for a casual swim only to spot turtles, sharks and a stingray darting around under your toes.

To take this island literally - "A place to stop" - The Perhentian Islands. This can be interpreted in two ways. Firstly, it is not an island to overlook and when asked the highlight of my summer, this island is always top of my list. It's worth going out of your way for, just to experience a paradise that puts all other paradise to shame.And secondly having not been a huge fan of the hustle and bustle of my previous stop, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia's capital, a city that never sleeps it was without doubt a refreshing change in atmosphere and way of life to say the least. Certainly more my cup of tea, living the lazy, comfortable student life in such idyllic settings.

On another note...

Is chivalry dead because some women have taken it too far?

FEMINISTS
It is believed to have started with feminists; swapping the word chivalrous for chavinistic. They believed when a man held the door open or paid the cheque it was because they didn't think the woman was capable of doing it for herself.

Therefore the breed of traditional gentlemen have been slowly dying out because they quit the chivalrous acts due to too many women thinking of them as undermining and patronising.

Having said that it is because of these feminists that women live in a world of choice today. Women can decide if they want to stay at home and be a house wife or if they want to be a strong, independent career woman with an equally strong loving husband by their side.

CONFUSION
Overall, men just don't know where they stand with women. Some want to be independent and not reliant on men so they have to be careful about not offending them.

Sean O'Rourke is one of the many men changing his ways: "I used to be such a gentleman but always ended up in the friend zone."

When asked about chivalry versus chauvinism: "Girls go for bad boys. They will ask for chivalry but it's the jerks that come out on top."

"I speak from experience, I have been having much more fun since I started acting more arrogant and thinking about myself."

Perhaps he needs to find himself a real woman.

Is it the fault of women?

The view of the modern woman is that chivalry is sexist and gender equality is where it’s at. Is it really a surprise that chivalry is dying when we are sending men mixed signals?

ATTITUDES AND DOUBLE STANDARDS
Women have the attitude of ‘I don’t need a man’ to the point that some scream at men for opening doors for them. They question men's genuineness when they do come along and pull out their chairs for them.

They have double standards in that they want equality yet expect the man to pay for every date.

Women want men to be there for them emotionally yet don't treat them the same when the situation reverses. They want men to reassure them of their love but if they want the same thing they accuse men of wanting their egos stroked.

Thus women need to face up to their responsibilities and take the blame for why chivalry is dead. Or dying.

REACTIONARY CREATURES
Men are reactionary creatures so all they are guilty of doing is what women have forced them to do, which is giving them independence and treating them as equals.

Men aren’t to blame entirely because they have equally bad behaviour when it comes to dating but I think women should own up to their share of the blame.

Today it seems to be less about dating and more a chase to the bedroom because with our demand for equality women are playing the same games as men.

And to those men who do try and are rejected, don’t stop - some girl somewhere is holding out for you.

Is chivalry dead?

IT'S ALIVE BUT ON LIFE SUPPORT
The concept of chivalry has changed with the times and it seems as though it is not relevant in today’s society.

The traditional values - a man giving up his coat for a woman if she’s cold or walking nearer the road so she doesn’t get splashed by passing cars - are changing or being lost altogether.

DOUBLE STANDARDS
The idea of being a gentleman used to connote the characteristics of knighthood; being courteous and gallant. 

But women today have double standards. We want to be swept off our feet and expect men to make the first move yet we scream and shout about how strong and independent we are that we don't need a man anymore.

Is it really a surprise that men believe their attempts are going unnoticed and unappreciated by women?


CHIVALRY FOR BOTH SEXES
In this day and age chivalry isn't one sided. It seems as though to be chivalrous now means to be kind and courteous to anyone, regardless of any romantic intentions.

This includes helping an old woman cross the road or saying 'bless you' when someone sneezes.

THE VALUE OF FEMALE CHIVALRY
When a man weighs up whether a woman is worth it or not, the chances are she'll pass the test if she does things like offer to split the bill or bring him chicken soup when he's ill in bed.
But it's not always about getting things in return. It’s about recognition for your actions and knowing you'll be treated right.

COMMON COURTESY A RARITY
Unfortunately kindness to strangers has become a rarity with people slamming doors in each other’s faces and pushing in line. We now live in a selfish world.

Common courtesy doesn't exist anymore. With the rise in technology and the decline in personal letters the easier it is to communicate with each other, the less we reach out to others personally.

Society has become more self absorbed and self centred, especially with strangers.

It seems that by losing the smaller, less important qualities of a gentleman, we have lost sight of the bigger picture.

http://www.artslondonnews.co.uk/20110523-is-chivalry-dead